Weighty Issues

It all began last year. The world was crumbling before my eyes. The earth below was threatening to tear apart and pull me in. It indeed was one of the worst calamities to have hit the 21st century. I had gained weight! I hated my mirror for making me feel like a worm. And a plump one at that. This had to change, I told myself. After all, I had joined a new organization and in many ways it was a new phase in my life. I swore to myself that I will get back to sexy 54. But then something happened. Actually two. My boss, Avinash Rebello, an owl reincarnate. And Madira. My hostel had a dinner deadline of 9:30, and thanks to Avi we never left early. So invariably dinners were at Mads. Was the food edible? Many would say otherwise, but my faithless tongue took a fancy to their oil dripping chicken afghanis, lolly pops, chilly dries and the works. And of course I started storing them. In my stomach, hands, thighs and waist. To make matters worse my male buddies in office started treating me like I was one of them. A boy!!! SFX: Glass breaking into pieces. Somewhere in the background a bubble burst. What did you miss guys? My ass or my tits? Did they really get lost in the flab? Anxiety galore. But I smiled and tried to look cool. However, I decided to go on a diet; and I credit myself for following it religiously for three days. I gave it up by lunchtime on the fourth. It was Owl though, who gave me the first push. He showed me the way to the gym. I followed him, determined that this time I would pull it through. But I forgot to mention a characteristic trait in me. I get bored easily. So as expected, a few months of heartless work-outs and not even a gram of weight-loss later, I called it quits. Owl, in the meantime, lost some 700 kilos and flew away to Bangalore. But last week, someone up above had mercy. The weighing scale tipped!! By exactly 2.5 kilograms. And the best part, some people even took notice. :) Not too much of an outcome in one year and three months, by lets be positive. At least it’s a nice start towards a hot me…