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Monday, November 28, 2011

Saturday Night la la lalalalala aaaa


So here’s what happened... Anand and I are sitting in the back seat of a limousine, engrossed in deep conversation. Anand happens to be a canteen boy who, on days when not lounging inside fancy cars, serves me tea at my office desk. Coming back; we are having a chat. He tells me that he lives in Mulund, in the same society where fat Arun (friend/copywriter/fool) lives. I am happy to know. To my surprise, he also informs me that Vanburn, another dear friend, who I blindly believed was a resident of IC colony in Borivali, also lives in his building. Treachery!

Cut to, Anand giving me a long spiel on how much of a jerk Van is. Me being me, I take up the cudgels for Van and defend him vehemently. Nothing shakes Anand; he still hates Dear Friend.

All this is fine, but there is a twist. The limousine we are sitting in is not ours. Of course. It belongs to a notorious gangster who has taken us hostage! His rookie is driving the limo, and there are two other demi-gangsters in the front seat with him. For some reason he decides to interrupt our war of words. He points a gun at us and says, “It’s time. Marne ke liye taiyaar ho jao!” The bullet leaves the muzzle. We yelp for help. (Check out the rhyme :D)

The bullet does not reach us; instead it hangs in mid-air! BECAUSE? Because….hahahaha… my friend Van has arrived at the spot in the nick of time, and put a transparent Life Cloak around us. Much like apna Invisibility Cloak.

The scene now moves outside the limo. We are in a dark, desolate alley. Setting: three gunmen, two victims, one superhero saviour. Mysteriously, he is now accompanied by a male and female accomplice. Their faces, I cannot see.

Anand is safe, thanks to Van's Life Cloak. Dekha! Dekha Anand! But somehow its powers are beginning to drain out on me. Gangster pulls out his gun again. I fall to the ground at the sight of the weapon. Before I can be shot, two hands lunge at my legs from under the limousine and slither me in. (I presume it’s the other guy with Van). Seconds later I am pushed out; however, this time I have a gigantic bulge below my breasts. Yes, yes, I have been knocked up.

Gangster drops his gun and says, “She’s pregnant! Now we can’t kill her!” Hmm…smart rapist.
Bad boys and good boys make a deal. They won’t kill us; instead, they want some stuff to sniff. And as luck would have it, I was carrying cocaine!!!
“You are a pregnant woman, cops won’t suspect you. You HAVE to deliver it to our office.” 

Damn.

So I go to the gangsters’ office escorted by Van’s chicklet (face still not visible). I reach the office and spot Poulomi’s roommate. She is a journalist this time around, and I have to be very discreet while dealing in drugs. She is excited to see me. I am not. Quietly I slip the packet of cocaine into one of the many gangsters’ hands.

The packet of cocaine looks like a green, four rupees railway coupon.

P.S: After a very long time I had taken a local train that day. Rest of the dream, I cannot explain.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


A strange emptiness fills up,
Touches the brim of a heart that was
And then, finally, it sinks in;
You are an Ice Maiden

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Baad muddat ke phir mili ho tum
Baad muddat ke phir mili ho tum
Ye jo thodi si bhar gayi ho tum
Ye vazan tum pe acha lagta hai...

Gulzar

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Resolutions...

1. Thou shall not be a glutton.

2. Thou shall get a tattoo.

3. And a guy.

4. Thou shall read 8 good books.

5. Thou shall travel.

6. Thou shall learn to save.

7. Thou shall not procrastinate.

8. Thou shall act less loony and more ladylike

9. Thou shall not be a control freak.

10. Thou shall live it up. Like always :)